Sometimes its the days you wouldn't like to write about stuff, when you in fact, should.
To 'kick off' 2009 i'm participating in the We Are Slimming 12 week challenge. I have done 12 weeks challenges before and find them helpful in keeping track of my weight, food and exercise for an semi extended period, with an end date. For me, it keeps things fresh, and mindful that whilst finally realising that its a change for life, that I do have a competitive side to myself, and it doesn't have to be day in day out misery. It's not going to happen overnight.
Throughout the whole time I've been overweight, I've never done before and after shots. Mainly because I was to nervous to ask anyone to take photos of me in my undies, and just because I thought seeing the change in my face, for me, would be enough.
Today I asked one of my friends to take photos for the challenge. One clothed, one in just my underwear (side on, front and back.) And they were full length. I thought it was going to be a somewhat slow exercise, but she was very kind enough to be quick and I was intrigued to see what I looked like.
The clothed ones, were fine. It's what I see everyday, and take notice of.
Then I flicked through the camera to see the ones of me in my bra and knickers.
Who is that woman?
Where did she come from?
Was I blind?
Please club me which a rock now.
And pretty much, shock, real shock.
I HAD NO IDEA.
And I do mean that, of course I see myself in the morning, but I clearly didn't see.
I've lost weight now, loads. I'm pretty much half way now, but even looking at the photos and remembering that, I was wondering.
How could you let yourself go, like that?
It was hard, I cried. And felt, ugly.
And I am never buying underpants with patterns until, well I don't know, long time people, looong!
I feel slightly better about the whole thing now, it was awful, and the next set will be a difference. I'm glad I had them done.
One day in the not too distant future I can look at them and see how far I have come, and laugh at them, and yes, cry, just a little.
It can only get better.