Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Coping mechanisms

In no order…

Spend your time with nice people, and nice people only. Spending some of your new found spare time, with people that make you happy, and are happy will generally make the whole more experience slightly more bearable. I have little tolerance for toxic people, and at the moment I have no tolerance for them at all.

Talk to people, whether it’s a friend or a counselor. Talk about what happened, random stuff, and what you plan on doing next – don’t worry if you are not sure, I’m still not, but I have a list of all sorts of things, from hiking across Spain to redesigning my blog, and learning to make cheese. Random, but helpful.

Get a second job – mine has been a godsend, as a time filler, extra money earner, and also to meet to people. It’s only a short term thing, but I can see myself being stronger once I finish. Obviously you can choose other things to fill your time with, it just happened that we broke up the night I started the job!

Delete your ex of FB, it doesn’t have to be forever, but for now, do it. I didn’t to it until after I finished the marathon, but am glad I did. For now, I’d rather my life to be private, not that there is anything exciting happening. But for now, it’s what I need as I do spend a bit of time on there.

Be kind. To others, but also yourself. I could spend a lot of time and have wondering why this happened, and if I deserved it, and if I wasn’t worth it – and it doesn’t solve anything. Instead I am trying just to be nice to people, as I would normally do, and not beat myself about something that wasn’t my choice. I’ve treated myself to a facial, a massage, and just things I normally wouldn’t have made time to do. I’m worth it.

Cry. When you need to. It feels awful, but better after.

Run a marathon.

And be yourself. It’s their loss.


Vic said...

LOVE IT !!!!

K said...

So proud of you, you're doing just great! Still totally in awe that you ran the marathon! We drove part of the course on the weekend and I kept thinking 'WOW'.

Kate said...


LBTEPA said...