Tuesday, February 1, 2011

making sense

I'm slowly getting back my mojo, i'm tracking (2 days so far!) and trying to identify what it is I want to eat. Like today, after doing speed work, all I wanted was salty chips, when in fact it was just salt, and the hummus in my lunch roll filled that need nice and fast, without the added calories!

I almost decided to pull out of my half marathon in the next few weeks because I felt undertrained, fat, and just didn't believe in myself. I had a chat with my trainer about my holiday feast woe, and he said not to stress about it, it's life, you know, you get off course, and you get back on, and i'm ready to get back on. Plus I think I just need some race accomplishment, the last one (you know the marathon) was such a mixed set of emotions, that it's still really a blur. And this upcoming one, even though only half the distance seems much harder to complete, because the adrenalin and sheer emotional exhaustion keeping me running (doesn't make sense, but it does) got me across the finish line. Also I got dumped the day after my last half marathon, so I just need to do this. I think I may be slow, but I'm just going put the time aside, I have to run this for me, I really do.

I'm slowly starting to feel better, other things are happening, my beloved Nan has been diagnosed with Alzheimers, this amazing woman raised me, it's so sad. So this week, I'm just trying to focus again, being kind to myself, and also keeping a bit busy too with the spare time I have.

I also need to sort my bedroom out, and my flat. Whilst it's tidy, it could be tidier. My room, that's another story!


K said...

I'm so glad you didn't pull out of the half marathon. I was saying to my friend on the weekend that the real struggle is the mental part. Physically you know - one foot in front of the other, repeat till the finish line - you got that one down, you can definitely do that. It's the mental part which feels doubtful and could throw a spanner in the works. I know you can do this, and I agree - you need to for you. You're going to feel amazing afterwards, I hope you enjoy every minute!

Sue said...

Sad news about your Nan. There are some people we just think will always be there, such a shock when they're not.